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Tic-tac, tic-tac... less then 24 hours... tic-tac

It’s almost over... remember... say goodbye... forgive... be forgiven...

I

Suitcase of memories

Even as a child I didn't know much, but I knew what I wanted... to control my destiny, control my choices not let coincidence control them. I grew up with good parents who, I think, left this earth before their time, but of their own fault. They trusted too much, trusted God, trusted that “it would all be ok”. They taught me how to care, how to be good and how to be the best. I was told I was a good student, patient and hard-working. Friends thought of me a little different, more precisely, the little book worm and geek. I never shook this title, not until I finished high-school. I was the weird kid, who dressed funny, didn't think cheerleaders were useful, or that being a humanitarian was a great career and job.

I was a sophomore in high-school when my parents died in a plane crash. I don't recall being given the news; I however still have flashes of the funeral. It was snowing... they all looked at me amazed that I didn't shed a tear. I was supposedly in shock, but I remember it even now, even today, so clearly. That was a decisive moment for me. I grew up...

I inherited a small fortune, moved into my own house, sold that of my parents for another small fortune, and began a new life from that day on. Senior year was a revelation, I began to travel, invest, and work and think like a business woman. It was all work and no play, but I never knew another kind of life. I never really went to parties, didn't like clubs, or being drunk. But then, I never made the top of the guest lists. I found a justification for living a lie. From geek, I went to spoiled rich chick... My image mattered now, which was actually true. High-school was soon at its end, and I was free. After a small tour of Europe, I went to college

II

A little less conversation

When I started my first year, I was well known around campus, even though I chose a small university in Kansas to do my studies. I was known as a smart pretty, rich girl. None of which was false, but I'd have liked it better if I landed the surprise personally. Information does travel like chickenpox... So, after the tide settled, I managed to even make a few friends. I moved into a cute dorm, to experiment what real student life felt like.

My roommate was also the girl who I called my best friend. She was a sweet quiet person who understood my rare but existent crazy. I appreciated getting to know her, and trusted her with a lot.

Business school was not all that's cracked up to be, not freshman year at least. I had the basics; I had the opportunity of teaching myself. Most of my teachers saw that, all but one of course... the needle in the haystack. He was a young guy, not much older than us, he was, what? 25? yet he had the arrogance and self certainty of a hundred year old... he was a sarcastic and ironic S.O.B that taught theory at the age of 25 or so, which I applied at the age of 19, I couldn't stand him for criticizing my knowledge and methods - especially since I knew they were correct. He had his looks to go for him though.

The good thing about college was that no one checks if you really take a sick day or not. So when I finally had enough of getting my weekly smart remarks I took a brake.

Right in front of the dorm, there was a little park. Lots of trees, flowers, quiet... well nature. So I kind of took the chance and got a blanket, my i-pod and went out for some time alone. I was lying in the grass humming a song, when I realized that someone was watching me. I opened my eyes to see a cute tall dark and handsome, hands in his pockets, hair flying in the wind, Oliver Brown... my “beloved” teacher.

“Don't stop on my account, you should try a career in singing you know that?”

“Out to get some fresh air professor? Is it just me or are you skipping class?”

“Students skip... I took a sick day...You should read your e-mails.”

“Well I hope you get well soon...” I was in no mood for this conversation, and I could tell he was.

“Well, doctor said I need fresh air and relaxation...” he said while he was sitting down next to me. “I hope you don't mind...”

“Not at all...” I pretended.

Soon we were both lying under the noon sun relaxing. I didn't utter a word all that time, not until he…:

“You really don't learn for my seminars do you? Whenever I ask on you, you are in a loss of words.”

“And then you start with your ironic remarks...Do you think that helps? You think that motivates me in any way?"

“I hoped it would...”

“It doesn't…”

“Well next time try reading...” he said getting up.

“I'll do no such thing” he then burst into laughter. I finally met eyes with him. When he finally stopped,

he asked: “Why don't I buy you a cup of coffee?”

“Isn't that crossing the line a bit?” I asked innocently.

“Its coffee...” he insisted. I agreed. I had a weird feeling about him, but I also liked him... just a bit.

However I was in uncharted territory, boys weren't a pastime. Actually, I never had a guy... em, boyfriend.

III

Tuesday night's alright

When you live a life of a rich person, and a timid one at that, it's not easy to find friends, much less find love. I gave up that urban myth in high-school somewhere, not after getting burned and embarrassed. I believed in attraction though and utilitarian relationships, not love though.

I went to no other course that day, neither did he... after visiting and getting introduced to most of the clubs and pubs around campus, I was so drunk I could hardly walk. He wasn't too far away either.

I'm not sure what way we went, where he was taking me, he said he was walking me home.

I woke up in front of a door, wobbling helplessly on my seriously unstable legs. He walked me inside. I wanted to say something but I didn't know how anymore.

He was pretty drunk too, he was leaning on the wall and I was leaning onto him, he looked at me deeply and kissed me. I was feeling week already, but that...that cut the branch off from under me. I was far too drunk to even walk, and then I get my first kiss?! He was feeling me up softly... it was almost surreal. He took me towards the bed... and that's where I woke up the next morning.

I was almost naked and clutching onto the thin sheet covering me. My head hurt so bad... I looked next to me, he was still sleeping. I wasn't sure if he was naked to or not, that was so not supposed to happen...ever!!! I felt like such a ... I just wanted to get out.

I finally found my clothes and put them on as fast I could. He was still sleeping and I was already thinking of different scenarios of what was about to come. It could affect my company, my private life... this has to have not happened.

It was all I thought of on my way back to the dorm. I didn't go to any courses that day... I pretended to feel sick, it fooled my roommate. After a couple of hours he started calling. I hung up the first three times. Then he sent me a text: “Meet me, urgent! - Old oak in campus. I'm waiting” this has to end somehow, better to talk it over. I went immediately. He was waiting with his hands in his pockets, facing the tree. I called out: “Oliver...” - we were on a first name basis since yesterday.

He turned to me, he was furious... “What the hell...” he grabbed my arms really tight and I turned white, almost dead looking “Where the hell did you go?!” my heart was beating hysterically “why did you run off?” then his grip loosened somewhat and so did the grip on my heart. “Well, isn’t it obvious?”

“You got me really worried” then I looked at him amazed.

“Do you recall anything from last night? Cause I kinda had a blackout” I confessed. He smiled ironically “Are you kidding me?!”

I turned serious...”Look, this is far beyond inappropriate, we should just forget it ever happened. Sorry, I don't usually do such things on a regular basis. I mean, get drunk and stuff...”

“I could tell...” I turned red in the face and turned away saying “Look I...em, have courses today, like I said, we should forget about it all. So, have a nice day Mr. Brown. See you in class.”

“look...” he said grabbing my arm “I don't know about you but, I enjoyed what happened last night and yesterday all together, even if it's unethical, and wrong and I'd have to stop being ironical with you during classes...I don't want it to stop. I think it would totally suck, not having you around.”

I burst into laughter hearing all that. I turned and faced him again

“You have to be joking! Did you just listen to what you said? “Suck” is something kids use...and then, you hardly know me, stop acting like we're in love! You got me drunk, you said you noticed I don't usually do this, yet you didn't stop me, you enjoyed it, you took me “home” ha? Your home! For sex?! You're a teacher! My teacher, for crying out loud! You took advantage of me! Yet you seem hardly affected! What kind of monster are you?!”

I turned away, but didn't walk. I was a bit confused, I thought I was okay with attraction and stuff...but apparently I'm not. He sighed “last I remember, I did not pour the vodka, you so enthusiastically drank, down your throat , I did ask where you lived and you said “Neverland” I couldn't just knock on every dorm door and ask “do you know where this girl lives?” your cell phone was really drained of battery, I couldn't use it. What was I supposed to do?! And what the sex is concerned ,I dunno what you imagined it'd be like... but it takes two, and you were anything but unhappy, even if you say you don't remember.” now he was pissed off... “This can't go on...” I whispered. “Look, honestly, last night I really thought that you were actually something other than stuck up, I guess it didn't last...” Fact was that I felt good, and I really like the bloke, somewhere deep down, I didn’t want it to stop either, but still, he's...

“So I'm you're teacher, think that'll change? Teachers fuck too...” he demanded in a dead serious tone. I burst into laughter again, but this time I meant it. Then he started laughing too. Did we just ‘sign a contract?’

IV

The house of fun

So I'm a slut, a dirty little student with two ponytails and leather dress…or not; point is I wasn't able to resist, and for the first time I let fate decide what was to become of it all. I saw him almost daily and “nightly”...

The secret was, however, harder to keep than that of a governmental project. Freshman year was hard after all, sophomore, even more so, but the vacations were worth it all. I found it hard to take, running in circles; it was a mad world, for both me and Oli. But then it was also fun.

However sneaking around had its risks. After class one day, Sylvia, the best friend I talked about, saw us stealing a kiss around campus. She saw and recognized Oli, but not me. With a photo she immediately went to the dean. The next day Oli was fired. Of course I found out only a week later, because he supposedly went to visit a cousin in a nearby town. It was a huge deal around campus but I never realized, or didn't want to, that it was us the people were talking about. I couldn't come forward or I would have been expelled. But I couldn't keep it all inside me anymore, so I told Sylvia. I had never done anything out of place before, and thought it was best that way. Chance was that I also made mistakes. Sylvia wouldn't hear of it. She was so angry. I made her swear to secrecy, but she betrayed me still.

In a couple of days most of the newspapers were full of stories on how the spoiled rich chick slept with her professor, probably to get ahead. Oli was blamed for more than that. He supposedly had relationships with other students too. He confessed only to this one, which was also the only “crime” he committed. But no matter, his career was over anyway. I felt hurt, betrayed, guilty... Oli hardly talked to me anymore and drank a lot. One evening I sat next to him and grabbed his bottle. We both got very drunk and he finally fell asleep in my arms. I guess everybody has to hurt sometimes, it's a part of being human. Everybody hurts...

V

Stars in the sky

Sylvia had rich parents and a dummy all-muscle-no-brain boyfriend; she kept around for his money and fame. Every waking hour I spent looking for things normal people have, like a friend. I thought I found it in her. It wasn't so. I don't take defeat too well, blackmail even worse. Oli never knew what someone is capable of when they have the resources and a reason. He didn't know what I'm capable of. Sylvia didn't care.. I pleaded with her days on end, but she chose to make a scandal of it all.

I blame only myself for leaving everything uncontrolled, but blackmail... betrayal... that cannot go unpunished, and it didn't. Sylvia had an unfortunate accident. I never checked if she was alive or not or what her condition was. Both Oliver and I went away to Europe in that period. He got hired and I got transferred. Paris did us both a little good.

By the time I was 21, I ran my late parents' business and formed quite a few subsidiaries. Life was going exactly the way I steered it. Oli was happy as a professor, and I was happy with him.

Paris is quite the city, yet it seemed like our little world and our home a little spec of land in that make believe existence. But it wasn't make believe at all, it was real. I had lost all my beliefs again, lost my religion, and lived on the insecure threads of fate. And as much as I wanted to believe it was wrong I was far too happy, far too absorbed to notice...

VI

Sylvia

Keep your friends close... In my case I never needed the enemy part, ‘cause this friend, was more than enough of both.

One evening, while attending a fund raiser a woman came up to me. It took me a bit to realize it was her. She seemed fine, but had quite a few injuries, and a false leg. I never had second thoughts about what I did to her. This never made the press, I made sure. She ruined our lives then, pay back's a bitch...

She seemed civil at first, but since looks deceive... She came up to me before the evening ended and swore “I never forgot, nor forgave...”

“Neither did I “I answered. The game was on... and this wouldn't end well...

The next days were accompanied by threats on the phone, sharp shooters around my property. This was going way too far! She wasn't joking, two of my bodyguards were killed in the process and the police seemed to not give a rat’s ass... As much as I disliked running away from a challenge, we went back to the US for a couple of weeks. Oli was the most worried, the newspapers and TV were showing nothing of it, even though we announced it at the police stations and paid off a couple of papers to print the story.

Sylvia was a reputable enemy, she had planed this for a while, and it was working like a perfect mouse trap since I triggered it at the event that evening. I was responsible for it all. My life and Oliver's were now in the balance. We both knew there was no other chance than fighting back.

A few days of quite followed. A package came through the mail. There was a letter saying “24 hours”.

This was it, her last piece of the puzzle, her last shot. She led us around for 3 months, making our lives a living hell. It all comes down to 24 hours ... her resources must be fading. Money is like oil, replaceable but only in a lot of time...

Our story was unknown to the world... we might die and she could cover up her tracks, will never allow that. It's time again... fate is my enemy once more, I win, or it's over tonight! I will not permit the little happiness I found in my life to be taken away by a person whose reputation and image is facade for a criminal mind and hand.

Oli was holding me in his arms for the last 3 hours. 21hours and they might be laying flowers on my life, on our lives...But what was I to do against a person who only cared about money and power, who faked friendship, who destroyed lives only for the sake of her publicity. She is scrupulous. It may be my own fear, but I think also fearless... ready to kill at a whim.

Tic-tac, tic-tac, tic-tac...

18 hours...

10 hours...

Just 8 hours....

One more hour.... Oliver kissed me like he never did before... we agreed we'll see each other soon and embraced, locked ourselves in each others arms. No bombs, no sharp shooters, no people around who can harm us, no entrance on the premises... half an hour.... what will she do? Fate...again...I need... a miracle...

VII

2 months later

“...I'm a murderer... I killed my best friend, my once best friend... because of something I started, because of my mistrust. I ruined the life of two people in love, drove them away. This is my last will and testament; give this recording to the police. The leads I've presented here will lead you to their grave. Lay a flower in my name; I wasn't able to bring myself to do it...” (Gunshot in the background)

“Mrs. Brown, this was found at the residence of...”

“Sylvia”

“Yes...”

“Have you got and identified her body?”

“Yes. She shot herself”

“Thank you for the call officer, and for your cooperation during this time.”

“I'm sorry it had to end this way...”

“Have a nice day.”

“You too ma’am.”

Fate exists... that much I've realized. Oliver is complaining about the coffee as he did the past 2 months of our seclusion, but I can tell it's just another way of expressing his happiness and joy of still being alive. The yacht is comfortable but still it isn’t easy wondering if you’re still being hunted down or whether you'll live to see the next day. One officer believed our story and hid us away in the nick of time. There really was a bomb. Some bodies, fakes, were placed at the scene. Our Paris house was blown to smithereens and we were declared dead for our own safety, for a while at least.

In light of the past events, I gave away all my money to charity. My name was cleared a long time ago, as was Oliver’s and we are actually seen as one of the nicest and generous families in the mundane world but it doesn’t change the fact that we play with our rights, we cross lines and then we trust that it’ll all work out. Our façade was and is a pretty lie... but it’s necessary to keep us alive.

Fate exists, but it can be held in check... it must be... And I'll keep doing so for the rest of my days.